my fictional bucket list – bookish things i would do if i could

Hello everyone! If you read a lot (which I assume you do or this blog would be an odd place for you to be on) then you have probably thought at some point while reading “Oh, I want to do that!”. I have, which is why I’m compiling a list of fictional things I want to do.

// Talk to a philosophical book who convinces me to do questionable things //

Now, this out of context sounds really odd. But, if like me you have read We Free The Stars, you might too want to talk to the Jawarat. If you haven’t read the book (O_O) allow me to explain. The Jawarat is a book that Zafira gets towards the end of We Hunt The Flame. For reasons I will not disclose, she can communicate with said book through her mind. And I want to do that! Imagine talking to an old historical book! It honestly sounds like once we have an agreement, me and the book might just get along quite well.

// Play the flute to a three headed dog //

Do I know how to play the flute? No. Is it a risk to my life? Probably. But I think it might be a bit of a fun story to tell the kids one day, disbelieving as they will be about it. And I think we all harbour a secret wish to act like Hagrid for a little bit. So play the flute to Fluffy it is.

// Eat a trough of waffles with apple sauce and then go back for seconds//

Jesper once did it as a dare, and I will too if forced. I assume Nina would be in full support of this endeavor, and if Nina approves then all is well. I don’t even like apple sauce that much, but hey, anything to best Jesper at anything.

// Go about the streets of London killing demons //

Isn’t that a nice way to spend your afternoon? Yes you risk getting severely injured and perhaps dying, but it’s all in a day’s work no? And, I mean, Iratze runes exist. Also Will and Jem are amazing and I would take every opportunity to go anywhere with them.

// Gossip about how proud and annoying Mr Darcy is //

You cannot convince me that talking to Elizabeth Bennet wouldn’t be fun, because it would! She’s an absolute wonder of a person and I would talk to her all day about anything.

// Watch Mal fight and enjoy every time he is hit //

I personally do not have the physical ability to fight a person like Mal, but I could just watch him get hit over and over and revel in it. He is the most annoying character ever, and watching him get beaten would do wonders for my happiness.

// Follow Poirot around and pretend to understand his genius //

Much as I wish I could say I would solve a mystery, we all know I probably couldn’t, so instead I have resigned myself to following Poirot around and just existing. He is incredibly clever and I would just watch him being smart.

// Get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost to play the flute and then aquire expensive habits in the afterlife and pay someone to burn my money for me //

I’m just now realizing how you all have to have read the same books as me to get the references that I’m saying. Here I would like to join in a heist, inevitably die because I would be the reason everyone goes down, and then get Wylan to teach me to play the flute in the afterlife. And because my ghost will be rich in the afterlife, I would pay someone to burn money for me because I’m a cold rich criminal.

// Tell Henry about the moon landing because he’s an idiot who doesn’t know it happened //

Ok, I’m kidding. Henry is not an idiot. Or maybe a little. My point is that I would like to tell Henry all about the moon landing and maybe embroider the truth a little bit 😉 For those who don’t know, the book is The Secret History.

// Play one of the witches in Macbeth with Oliver and James //

I have absolutely no acting ability, but in this fictional reality I do. And so I too would like to play a witch alongside Oliver and James. Oh, and by the way, they’re not playing witches. They’re just also in the play. Just to clarify. Unless.. Also Wren would play one of the witches too, because I’m the one casting and I love Wren so so much. She’s the best and I wish she had gotten better in the book because she deserved it.

// Remember Addie LaRue //

I’ve just now started The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, and I feel really bad for her 😅 Imagine how lonely her life must be. So, I would like to remember Addie LaRue. Oh imagine if we’ve all already met someone like Addie LaRue but we don’t know it because, well, we would have forgotten. Wouldn’t that be a little interesting?

// Eat figs //

It’s a little funny that my biggest takeaway from The Song of Achilles is figs eating. Sigh. But I do like figs, so this I can actually do.

// Kiss a volcra on the forehead //

I honestly can’t remember where this is from, I think its some interview or another with the cast of S&B, but I just thought of it and I think its pretty funny. Imagine just trying to give a volcra a little peck on the forehead 😂

And that is my fictional bucket list. Although I may not be able to do any of this, except maybe eat figs, I guess it’s good to write it out anyway. I hope you all enjoyed this list, let me know what sorts of stuff you would do if you were in a book!